the 9 to 5 alternative

This is a review of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People. I am participating in the Personal MBA project, and this is the first book that I have completed and compiled notes for. To read more about the project, click here to read the PMBA manifesto.

Book Details

Title: How to Win Friends and Influence People
Author: Dale Carnegie
Page Count: 276
First Published: 1936

Dale Carnegie is the patriarch of people-skills, a mastermind of human nature who spent most of his life lecturing to students and corporations about self-improvement, salesmanship, and interpersonal development. This book is over 70 years old, yet the fundamental philosophies are timeless. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, and I think it’s a great start to my experiment with the Personal MBA.

What I learned

A lot of little lessons. A lot of bon mots and self-improvement-rich quotations. Most of the lessons here reinforce what already makes sense. Like the benefits of focusing on agreements during an argument. Or, how before criticizing another person, you talk about your own mistakes first. Carnegie does a great job taking human nature and breaking it down. As a handbook of human relations, it is a valuable resource for those struggling to connect with others, those looking to get back to the basics of human interaction.

Notable Quotations

…the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other wants.

I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear of what idea I was going to say and what that person–from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives–was likely to answer.

The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel (Charles Schwab).

…the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.

Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy.

The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in the limelight, raises one’s head and shoulders above the crowd. And the person who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or she really possesses.

Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful.

Miscellaneous Notes

-scheduled review of interpersonal skills? (or something like Chris Guillebeau’s Annual Review?)

-there is a difference between appreciation and flattery

-Roosevelt was an expert at remembering names [techniques start on p.42]

-case studies are such a great way to compose a book — Malcolm Gladwell is really good at it

-use phrases like “I may be wrong, I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts”

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts?